Helpful Intentions

Frankly I was beyond annoyed as I tripped over my son's feet for what seemed like the millionth time. "Last chance" I growled, giving him the mom look. He reluctantly pulled his feet up in the shopping cart. Let me give you a visual.
We were at Walmart in the early part of the afternoon. Since we were in no rush, I had conceeded to my son's request for "a special cart" - one of those bohemout cart-and-a-half things that has the kid compartment where kids sit. Generally I despise these and tell the kids no, but today, well we weren't in much of a hurry. Everything started out well, but my son went from sitting proudly in the seat to setting beside the seat to his current state where his feet dragged out the front of the cart. It wasn't a safety issue (he was about 6 inches off the floor). It wasn't a behavior issue (he was humming happily to himself). I just kept tripping over his feet.
Well, then I did a very snappish thing - threatened to take the cart back if I tripped over his feet one more time. He wailed in a middle of the afternoon without a nap way and put his feet back out of the cart. Not I was confused. He really enjoys these carts so I was dealing with some pretty bold defiance which endangered his favorite cart, so something else was going on.
So I asked him what was going on.
"See, mommy. My feet help push the cart and it makes it easier for you." The clouds lifted and I saw our miscommunication. I thought he was being four. He thought he was being helpful with a cart I so frequently lament is difficult to push. So we made a deal - he could "push" with his feet on one side and I would walk on the other. I reminded him that if he moved to my side he might trip me and I could get hurt - no complaints. And I didn't trip the rest of the time at Walmart.
How many times do our children try to help in their own developmentally appropriate way - and as adults we miss the boat? Helping out with grown-up things is very important to a child's development. Preschool development requires children to master basic life tasks and to feel important and useful. School age child development requires children to make meaningful contributions to their environment - everyday life with a parent or relative IS the child's environment.
I challenge you, today, to find at least 3 times when your child offers to help out that you accept their help. It might not be the perfect help and it might not be the perfect timing, but enjoy the child's company and help the child feel successful.