Considering Safety

Midwestern sunshine and spring sports brings families forth from their winter rests into warm breezes and soft spring grass. These days bring with them a promise of summer and are a great time for parents to revisit important safety rules with their children. With friends to play with and bikes to ride, these rules are easily forgotten. It is important for parents to send a clear message to their kids: safety is not negotiable. Here's three quick safety rules to review with your kids.

First, anytime wheels are under a child's feet there should be a helmet on their head. Head injuries are frightening - a child's brain can be dramatically injured during a fall from a scooter, bike or other rolling object (such as those sneakers with wheels on them or a skateboard). Unfortunately, these injuries can be (and often are) beyond the ability of the medical community to fix. In short, if your child rides a bike without a helmet, falls and becomes brain injured your life may change in ways which are unimaginable. It simply is not worth the risk. Helmets aren't hot (ventilation is great in them) nor are they ugly. Send a clear message: the helmet stays on when wheels are under the feet.

Second, always check the depth of water before jumping into a swimming area. When I was in college I lifeguarded at a small waterpark in town. I was amazed to see young children jump into water that was many feet too deep for them. These were frightening experiences for me as a lifeguard because I knew the possible consequences of these children in this deep water - they could drown. Even if lifeguards are present, children who are not confident swimmers (meaning they cannot comfortably swim 25 yards without touching the bottom of the pool) should receive constant supervision at any swimming facility. Since children who can swim comfortably are given more flexibility at the pool and may spend time unsupervised, it is important parents provide very clear boundaries around this privilege. For instance, provide check-in times for the kids to check back in with you, check on the child unannounced, etc. You are giving this privilege but you are also expecting the child will be safe and have appropriate behavior without your direct supervision (such as no horse-play).

Finally, insist that your child go nowhere without your direct consent. This happened this weekend at our house. My two children had permission to play in a neighbor's yard. I was working outside as were my neighbors and could see the children to supervise them. Suddenly, they were gone. Our neighborhood is pretty safe so I wasn't immediately worried, however, stopped my work and looked around - they had gone to the neighbor's next door to play with her daughter (three houses down). They did not have permission. Now, they were not in danger, nor had they done anything hideously wrong (this neighbor's house is on the "okay to play at" list). However, they had failed to get permission - in this situation it wasn't a big deal. In another situation it could have been a critical safety issue. Knowing where your children are at all times is critically important for their safety. It is also an important part of your shared contract - you let the child go to a friends house and he/she calls you if anything changes. Take the child's responsibility very, very seriously and hold him/her to it.

So what happened? I calmly called the kids home and explained to them they could not play with their friends until after lunch because of the choice to go to a different home without permission. I could clearly see it was a simple case of forgetfulness, but this was a great time to provide a gentle punishment (having to stop playing with friends until after lunch) alone with the verbal reminder. Later in the day, the kids remembered to come back and ask to play at the other nighbors - a request which was proudly granted.

Safety is never negotiable with kids. Rules are rules - period. Discussion can renegotiate these rules ("mom, can we play inside" or "mom, can we go to the other neighbors house?"), but without renegotiating, remind kids that rules are their contract with you.